Sunday, 28 December 2008

• I am broken here tonight again

  writing out thoughts I can't say

  filtering and editing-how I live with words

  when I wish I could live with actions

   

  I am faced with my own failures

  and I know my "not-have"s are many

  My dreams are big and plenty

  But I can't or won't make them my reality

   

  I bleed brokenness on a page but

  smile anyway and dig deeper

  I have nothing interesting to say and

  nothing worthy to contribute

   

  I am too comfortable and too willing

  to stay here despite a drive for better

  I am unoriginal, I am incomplete

   

  I don't know where I am or

  where I am going-I talk

  big enough but don't do

   

  I write, I don't speak

  I think, I don't act

  I fail them, and you, and

  I am not enough

   

  I am insecure every moment

  and the only thing I do well is second-guess

  I don't risk my own comfort

  because I am terrified of rejection

   

  Failure is the constant refrain

  I'm always running from and into

  I talk but don't walk and

  observe but don't add on

   

  I am perpetually a step behind

  and I can only fake the dance the rest know

  I am a fraud among genuine hearts

  and I'm not fooling anyone

   

  I can move, but not dance and

  I can hum but not sing

  I fail them, and you, and

  I am not enough

   

  My head and my heart never agree

  and my body might as well separate completely

  I run, but slowly and

  my stamina is low

   

  I write, I don't speak

  I think, I don't act

  I fail them, and you, and

  I am not enough

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